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Funny Retirement Wishes For Coworkers & Colleagues

If you are searching for “funny retirement wishes”, “retirement quotes for coworkers”, “funny retirement quotes” or “retirement wishes for colleague” while wondering what to write in a retirement card, this post should help!

The best part about is that they will be relatable to pretty much everybody including educators, teachers, specialists, engineers, IT folks, attendants, bookkeepers, business administrators or even the agreeable oldie working at the area grocery store. Read them below and consider how you can inject cleverness in your welcome.

Regardless of whether it is for your associates, managers, father, mother, companions or somebody in the family – ensure your witty lines put a grin on the new retiree’s face. Keep in mind to share your words on Facebook and Pinterest.

Funny Retirement Wishes

The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include:

  1. The days of 9-5 are past! happy days are here at last!
  2. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments!
  3. All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again!
  4. The job you waited for for 50 years! Retirement!
  5. Retirement! it’s like sleeping while you are awake. Well done!
  6. You can now not worry about doing anything wrong nor getting caught at it!
  7. What do you call a person who is always happy each and every Monday? Retired!
  8. Worked all me life, paid me due’s, now I will do, whatever I choose!
  9. Time to stop working for that living and working at living!
  10. You have finally “Got a Life!”
  11. Retirement! Where every day is Saturday!
  12. I don’t have to do it, I don’t want to do it and you can’t make me do it I’m retired!
  13. You’re retired, not expired!
  14. Enjoy the challenge of spending time without spending money!
  15. Retired! Say Hi to your pension and goodbye to the tension!
  16. You’re retied! We know your young at heart and slightly older in other places!
  17. Retired! No Alarm Clock! No problem!
  18. Are you going to be a secret agent? Licenced to chill?
  19. Now you’re retired, you know everything and have plenty of time to tell everyone about it!
  20. The joy of retirement is having nothing to do all day!
  21. Remember, with retirement, you can wake up in the morning with zero to do and go to bed having done a mere half of it!
  22. Retirement: It takes all the meaning out of weekends!
  23. Now you are retired, you realize you will never have another day off, right?
  24. Now you are retired, you can get up at 6 am and drive around slowly delaying people everywhere!
  25. Time to maximize that senior discount!
  26. No better feeling than going to bed with no alarm set for tomorrow!
  27. Retirement! The money is not as good but the hours are!
  28. Behind every retired man is a wife just wishing he would go back to work!
  29. Retirement: Half the money but now you get twice the husband!
  30. I’m retired! You’re not! Have fun at work tomorrow!
  31. You found your true calling, Retirement!
  32. On the retirement clock it’s always five O’clock
  33. Keep calm and enjoy retirement!
  34. When people ask you what you are doing tomorrow, do you even care what day of the week it is? Happy Retirement!
  35. Retired! I now smile all the time because I can’t hear a word you are saying!
  36. Now you are retired, how are the new bosses, your grand kids?
  37. You are going to be the coworker I miss the most when emailing you from a few feet away!
  38. Retirement! Time to start giving advice to others you never followed!
  39. Fragile bones and a weak bladder. You still looking forward to your retirement? Congratulations!
  40. I bet you never thought how important medical insurance was until you retired!
  41. You say retirement is an adventure? IS climbing out of bed, climbing atop couches and diving into take out food fun?
  42. After retirement the body grows older, the heart grows fonder and the mind becomes younger. All the best at trying to handle an old body with a young mind and fond heart!
  43. Hey, now you are retired you can’t afford to do all the things you wanted too, anyway! Happy Retirement!
  44. I am thankful retirement is not optional otherwise I would be stuck working with you, forever! Happy Retirement!
  45. Off to retirement? Say Hi to your two new best friends, bed and couch!
  46. Retirement, it is like a party with no drinking, no hook-up’s and you fall asleep. In other words, boring! Congratulations!
  47. Your retirement will be like a vacation, except you are now too old to do the fun stuff! Congrats!
  48. Most people spend their whole lives planning their retirement but when they actually retire, they don’t know what to do. Don’t let this happen to you.
  49. Remember to tire yourself out with gardening grand kids and chores!
  50. Hey with all your college degrees, you now get to be a Master of doing nothing! Well done!
  51. C’mon! We all know retirement is the companies way of saying you are getting too old to work!
  52. Doing the things you wanted to do is not what retirement is for. It is remembering what you had to do. Good luck, pensioner!
  53. Retirement is like being on the edge of a cliff. Just know your next step is a downward plunge! Good luck!
  54. The company retiring you says they have found more energetic, youthful and talented staff than you! Happy Retirement!
  55. For someone as idle as you, retirement will not matter. You will just be lazy on an official basis!
  56. Hey, now you are retired, enjoy the next project: Doing nothing all day!
  57. No more boss shouting at you, just your wife shouting at you! Enjoy retirement!
  58. It doesn’t matter if you are grumpy when you retire, people just expect it anyway.
  59. The first day you do not change your underwear, consider yourself officially retired!
  60. Now you have reached retirement, enjoy this new turning point as you realize how messed up your priorities were!
  61. It’s time to spend away your life savings! Enjoy retirement.
  62. Retirement is said to be the slow and painful lead up to the sunset years of your life. Have fun old timer.
  63. Retirement, the bubble that bursts when you thought you were at the zenith of your career. Good luck, buddy!
  64. Retirement is the company way of saying they have no more use for an old and lazy bum like you. Goodbye!
  65. Retirement is life’s way of saying you are too weak and feeble to work any longer! Congratulations!
  66. You know, being retired is the only time in life you do not really mind not having a holiday!
  67. Every day of your retired life should be like a Friday. Shame you will feel like it is Monday, every day. Good luck!
  68. Congrats on retiring. Have fun watching your life’s savings dwindle!
  69. Retirement is great if you have much to live for and much to live on.
  70. When your colleagues give you a watch you know time is no longer of importance. Happy retirement!
  71. When you retire, it’s going to be tough to tell the difference!
  72. Is mandatory retirement the same as compulsive poverty?
  73. Retirement, when time is no longer money.
  74. The way some people work you wonder if they will achieve anything when they retire!
  75. Retirement, maybe time for your wife to get a stomach ulcer with you around all the time?
  76. Now you are retired, you can be tired, yesterday, today and tomorrow.
  77. Now you are retired you can burn all your boxes. Saves money and gets rid of your past, too!
  78. Having worked all of your life, retirement should be easy!
  79. You know before you retired, you should have taken a week off and watched daytime TV every day!
  80. Now you are retired you will actually have time to read about problems with retirement!
  81. We know you retired for health reasons. You were sick of them, they were sick of you!
  82. Now you are retired you have nothing to do and no way to tell if you have done it!
  83. Now you are retired, can you still remember the things you wanted to do?
  84. Now your wife realizes you never gave your secretary enough sympathy during the daytime either!
  85. Drinking coffee on your own time is the one downside of retirement! Enjoy!
  86. Enjoy every retirement day as if it was your last day; one day you will be right about it.
  87. Now your retired, will your bedtime be after you have fallen asleep on the couch for three hours? Enjoy!
  88. The older you get the less peer pressure you will have. Well Done!
  89. Enjoy retirement and knowing you are over the hill when your back goes out more frequently than you do!
  90. On the bright side of being retired, kidnappers are less interested in you. Enjoy retirement!
  91. Happy Retirement. Go play golf and make your wife think you are still having fun!
  92. Enjoy your retirement! Don’t spend all your money just in case you don’t die!
  93. Is your happy retirement now a full time job for your wife?
  94. Enjoy and be proud of being gainfully unemployed Happy Retirement!
  95. Hey now you are retired, you don’t have to wear pants!
  96. Now I am retired I am not going to stop laughing because I am old, because you grow old when you do stop laughing!
  97. Working people have a lot of bad habits., but the worst of these is work. Congrats on your retirement!
  98. You are retiring from work ,not from life. Enjoy, my friend!
  99. Never act your age in retirement and have lots of fun!
  100. You don’t have to remember what you got up for anymore! Have fun in retirement!


We hope you enjoyed reading our Funny Retirement Quotes, stay tuned for more from SLS Communities. Read 100 Retirement Wishes Here.

Independent Living Retirement Communities

If you or someone you know is looking for the best location to retire, SLS Communities can help! We proudly operate 4 retirement communities in the state of Arizona.  With apartment style living our independent living residents love the freedom of living life to the fullest while our staff takes care of the chores and details.  Live your life to the fullest by choosing to take a tour and see why so many seniors love living with SLS Communities in Mesa, Youngtown, Sedona, and Surprise, Arizona.

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